Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
