R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
