sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
