yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
