If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The dick lei will go down in squad history
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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