I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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