He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
