I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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