The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
