I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
