She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I understand Curling. That high.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
