I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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