return my video game
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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