The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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