just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
