I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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