Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
