So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
