marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
