We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
