remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
