Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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