There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
accomplished twins. life is a go
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
