Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
organizing the empties. That sober.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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