Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
