and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
