I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
