That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
