Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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