its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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