yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
