Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
