She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will be naked everywhere
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
