I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
