The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
