just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
