All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
