Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
