Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
