well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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