That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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