i need an iv and a liver transplant
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
