is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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