you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
