I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
