did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
