He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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