The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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