I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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