Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
