I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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