I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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