woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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