will power is for people who don't want to get laid
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
