when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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