I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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